I see you there

It's early. It's 5 am.
The world is new, the air is fresh, but the touch.. is not.
I started driving from my home in Lafayette, this morning (or this dawn), when the sun was about to say hello. Maybe.. I woke up the sun :D
I drove along the Wabash river, as usual, but I know something is not usual.
It's tranquility and peace -- almost grabbed me to stop there for a while.
Sleeping water, just like before.
Quiet, just like before.
Peaceful, just like before.
Stop, just like before.
I am there, just like before.
Only he is not there now.

I shall not ask - anymore - where he is, for that I know. But I do not know, I do not comprehend, why he'd say "next time". There has been no such thing. Maybe I was just being comforted. Hmm..

Why do some people say sweetly, but then hurt badly?
Why do some people still.. ensure to stay, but then say goodbye?
The river was almost out of sight. It's time to let go. I shall let things be.. as is. Let it be..

Psalm 55:12-14
12 If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him.
13 But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend,
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship . . .

Held

This song by Natalie Grant -- Held -- is very beautiful. Here is the lyrics of the chorus anyway:
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We’d be held
You should listen to it! Then read this reflection. It shall bless your heart :)

Sayur segar

Makan sayur segar itu ngga gampang yah. Kemaren aku nyiapin makan siang hari ini. Ada cah sayur dan ayam, biasalah oseng-oseng. Karena ga banyak-banyak amat, trus kupikir, ya udalah tambah sayur segar saja. Jadi aku ambil satu helai daun kubis. Satu aja. lalu aku potong-potong lebih kecil dan kutaruh gitu aja dalem kotak makan. Sekarang aku lagi makan. Hmmm.. :\ rupanya kubis ga cocok dimakan segar. Agak pahit sedikit. Jelas lebih enak selada atau tomato --> favorite sayur buat tambahan lunch :D. Ah pokoknya sehaaat...

God’s coincidence

John 11:40
"Then Jesus said, 'Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?' "

I wondered.. feel puzzled.. suspicious..
I said to myself, "Huh?" and there went those curves on my face :p

I always think of my office building to have some sorts of isolator or something.. that I can never get any signal on my cellphone. Once I enter the first door -- that says 'Door 19' -- the signal is gone, and my phone will humbly respond with "Searching..." all day long. But I was sitting there, looking at the monitor -- or actually the code -- working very hard to find bugs and fix them :), where my cellphone suddenly called on me, "To le li la li". Not as if you could imagine.. but yah it's an sms! How can that happen? All of a sudden, a blitz of signal flew into my office, particularly to my cellphone, and specially delivered the message. It came from my best friend back home. Hmm, I was just too happy :)

That's not about it though. For all these times, I haven't been able to send sms to him.. except only the very first time. Not sure why though, but my cellphone will say "Message sent.", but my friend will say "You didn't reply all my sms!!" :D Okay, okay, so the point is he couldn't receive my sms somehow. After receiving his message that day, I was thinking about retrying to sms him once again. This time, I wrote in it, "If God allows, this sms shall reach you."

Guess what. Once again I said to myself, "Huh?" and there went those curves on my face :p
My friend replied me saying that he did receive that message.
. . . . . hmmm . . . . .
Okay, so just this afternoon, I wanted to send an important message to him. After I finished typing it, I said to God, "Please Lord, deliver it to him, because this is important." Ah.. you know the outcome :)

Ok, so maybe you don't believe it yet. Sometimes it looks like things happen simply incidentally, whatever it means. I worked super hard this past week. Not too super but super enough to be called super :p. Most days I went home around 9 pm, and after showering and having dinner, I found myself going back to work, at home though. I worked overtime yesterday (Saturday) and today, too. I got mad working on the program, because it crashed a couple times, and most of the times I had to reboot my machine -- killing the apps the hard way. That happened again this afternoon. I was trying to debug it, but before I reach the point I wanted, it crashed again and again. Oh if you ever wrote a program before, you'll know how it feels. At one time, the program crashed.. again. Uurrgh.. I was really desperate, I didn't want to have to reboot it. How can I fix it if it always crashed when I run it? Aaaaaggghhh!!

I closed my hand on my face, and tried to calm down. My heart said, "If it worked for the sms, try this one." So I said to God, "Please pleaseee bring the app back up, please don't let it crash, please let me see it running again. And please help me finish this. In Jesus name, I ask for this." I looked at the monitor, and with a bit surprise, it seems to be running again, though slowly. At least it made a progress, I thought. I step into some codes, and once agaaaaainnn... the app is killing me!! Alright so I had more faith by then. I asked God, "Please Lord, don't let it crash. Please, I really need it not to crash."

I have no idea how to describe it. I continued working for at least another 2 hours, non-stop, no crashing, no rebooting, and even more solutions. I accomplished some major parts of the work. What is best after that, I went home at 6.30 pm, the earliest of all my days so far :D, and rest peacefully at night, knowing that I'm not working by myself.

Maybe I should really apply this principle of 'believing and asking', but not with mere blink, but with true faith that things will happen for those who believe. Thank you, Jesus, may my work be glory to Your name, always.