Miss you

Count with me.. one, two, three..
1, 2, 3
1, 2, 3
1, 2, 3
. .
. .
1, 2, 3, .. 4?
1, 2, 3, .. 4? yes, think so..
1, 2, 3, .. 4? yup, for sure now!
1, 2, 3, 4 hmm.. happy happy :)
1, 2, 3, 4 la la la ..
1, 2, 3, 4
1, 2, 3, 4 ai, ouch!
1, 2, 3, .. 4? umm..
1, 2, 3, .. 4? :-
1, 2, 3, .. do you really have to go?
1, 2, 3, .. guess so
1, 2, 3
1, 2, 3
. .
. .
Best times, best friends, best memories..
Time passes, people come, people go..
Love cherish, love hurts..
Love sustains, love breaks..

Yet my love will be with you, always.. I miss you :)

Nan naaan

Wah Naan.. blog ini el special-in buat kamu yaah.. soalnya tadi sore aku pergi ke Columbus kan, trus aku pasang CD lagu yang kamu rekamin dan kasih aku pas Desember lalu (pas aku balik indo). Aku pasang di mobil, dan.. wah enak-enak sekaliii lagu-lagunya.. ^^ hmmm.. plus nge-mix sekalee sampe mood ku jadi naik alias hepi deh ^__^ hehe.. oh aku juga jadi ngga gitu ngantuk..

Tapi yang paling istimewa, el jadi inget nan, kangeen kamu sekali loh ^__^ (cieeeh), aku inget aku dibeliin CD buat hadiah ultah dua kali huehuehee, Boyzone sama Westlife. El seneeeeng sekali lagunya. Trus kamu selalu kasih aku denger lagu-lagu di telpon, yang dulu benernya aku sampe kebosenen sih :p oopss.. tapi trus sekarang aku rindu huehuheuee (maluu neh).. el juga pingin maen badminton lagi ama nan (dan kawan-kawan), disini kalo main, ga gitu banyak temennya, apalagi yang bisa maklumin level mainku :p huehuheuhe..
Inget ntar ditungguin yah el balik indo. Kita jadi ke.. pandaan? waaah.. kutunggu yaaaa!

Take care ya nan naaan, God bless you always dear..

Home Sweet Home

Think of this -- Is there a place called Home? one that you can really really call a home for you?

Everyday I walk to school, to classes.. meeting friends, and professors.. and everyday I walk back.. to this place I always refer to as home. I walk home.. expecting to feel.. relieved from the burden of my study, or of my thoughts..
Often times though, right when I step in it, I feel lost, deserted.. not even sure of who I am myself. It rejects me. It hits me with disappointments. It takes my hope away..
Yesterday was another day.. when I just wanted to run away. Run away as hard as I can, as fast as I can, only to know that.. there might not be any other place.
"Where am I going to go?"
"Do I know?"
"No."
"Do I care?"
"Does anyone care?"

. . . . . silence . . . . .

I walked down this long walkway.. from home to grissom, wetherill, stanley coulter, .. all these fancy-named buildings.. and all I got was silence. The sky was dark.. and gloomy.. unwilling to give me any answer. Though God knows.. I am missing.

As far as I would go, I finally reached my second home, the CS building. Yah.. the CS building. It is about the only place where.. I can open my book, read my assignment, and say, "I'm doing it now, and I'm finishing it soon." But there is something about it I just realized that.. make me stay.. and settle. It is where..
I can be on my own
I can close my eyes, and be numb for a while..
I can contemplate on my thoughts, my life, your life
I can cry or smile..
and I can whisper, "Jesus.." and be covered by His heavenly peace..

Yesterday was just not for me. I wasted an hour.. to sleep.. anxiously. In the lab, yes. In front of those mocking screens and.. gadgets. I cried out helplessly.. "Oh please.. let me go.."
And suddenly, 'I've got mail', a surprising email indeed..

I stood up, rushed to pack up my stuffs.. I felt hurried, confused, guilty.. trying to get to my car sooner than possible. I forgot.. I needed to volunteer that nite.
"Oh God forgive me. I am too busy thinking of myself.. I forget to serve You." And I say it over, and over, and over.

I arrived late indeed, but things are never too late for God. The place, the people, the jobs.. everything.. turned me around completely. I did not remember my pain anymore. I did not even feel it. Right when I needed a home, He provided one, even more than what I asked. I did not only sleep at home, I was - and am still - with Him, I was refreshed and full of joy. What a blessed nite.. another blessed nite..

I know now..
that God's love is everlasting.. and overflowing
that I keep forgetting Him, turning around from Him, disappointing Him..
but God never forgets me, never turns His back to me, never disappoints me..
He is always here, looking at me, loving me, talking to me..
when I am strong, when I stumble..
His mercy and love is more than enough to draw me close to Him.. everytime.. everytime..

What was I thinking? These people.. homeless, maybe jobless, family-less, money-less.. are all taken care by God. He provides a home, for them. It's not the shelter, it's Him. How wonderful Thou art.. How wonderful living in Your grace, O Lord..


Psalm 23 : 1-6
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
. . .
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Origami

Bikin origami ternyata ngga gampang yah. Kalo biasanya dari TK dan SD kita selalu belajar model-model katak lumpat, kaos, burung, kapal-kapalan, dan semacemnya, itu baru awalnya ajah.
Malem ini aku nyoba bikin satu model "modular origami", dimana bentuknya itu pada dasarnya sih sphere, tapi ngga segampang bikin bola lampu :p. Pertama, mesti siapin 30 lembar kertas persegi (30! gila banyak sekalee). Tiap-tiap lembar itu trus dilipet sedemikian rupa, modelnya sama semua. Tiap lembar bisa habiskan 2 menit sampe selesai, non trivial. Trus 30 model itu dihubungin satu sama lain pake lipetan-lipetan yang ada, dan walaaa.. jadilah satu model bulat, diameternya sekitar 25 cm. Gede juga sih, mengingat tiap lembar persegiku selebar kertas folio :p (maklum, melipatnya paket hemat pake kertas buram..). Satu yang aku buat ini, namanya Kusudama. Silakan search Google kalo mau tau modelnya :) cantik sekali.

Tapi bener deh, cece dan aku bikin selama 3+ jam baru selesai. Bener-bener cara baik untuk habiskan waktu luang. Sayang, aku ngga luang benernya, jadi rada kapok bikin, hehehe..

Friends..

Friendship is like a spring.

It has two ends, closely attached, springing back and forth, towards each other. Sometimes the spring is hung on a fixed attachment, where one end stays and the other end is stretched away. Stretch it far enough, and the spring will break. Yes, it breaks.. and it is not a spring anymore. They are just two similar ends.

Friendship.. evolves the same way. Two people meet, make connection, sometimes even so connected they get close to each other. If one is happy, the other is happy, too. If one gets sad, the other is there to cheer and lift her up. Once.. one stays, but the other tries to leave.. somehow. After sometime.. their friendship fades away.. and gone. It is not a friendship anymore. They are just two familiar people.

Once I told a friend.. friendship is a two-way thing. The two agree on how they live together. Without it, friendship seems vague. But.. I find that love is not necessarily two-way. Love your friend enough, and you won't demand anything from him/her.

Indefinite as are the words needed to describe love.. everlasting as is the feeling you have for your loved ones.

^_^

Blessings Everywhere

Another blessed nite..

I volunteered - for the second time - in the Lafayette Urban Ministry, the homeless shelter. This time it came as a bit surprise though. I arrived at 9 PM (which means 45 mins late.. :p) and there was no coordinator there, let alone not enough volunteer. This quickly translates to -> the shelter is not gonna open that nite, which further says that 30-40 homeless people are gonna be really homeless that nite.

For about an hour, we tried to get contact with other coordinators, for possibly asking them to be in charge, urgently. It was the nite of the Labor Day weekend, so you can expect not many would be around, except.. Eric. This young and gentle Purdue grad student, whole-heartedly came on a sudden request to stay overnite in and coordinate the shelter. His humbleness and care to these particularly people in need really express God's love to all His children. You should see how those people thanked and blessed him :)

In the morning, there I was, standing at the back of the serving bar, preparing coffee, milk, and cereal on the table. A guy came in through the side door, handing me his bowl and cup, and after I said thank you, he asked, "Do you know Jesus Christ?"
"Yes, I do," I answered undoubtedly and smiled to him.

I did not go further talking to him, although I would love to. But it surely reminds me how unlimited God's love is, not only in time but also in the people. He has been faithful for thousands years and His work is greatly revealed in any people - poor, rich, old, young, .. - as long as they love and trust Him.

Remember, always remember, Jesus loves you, too, so much.

(Specially for my Father in heaven, who loves me truly and walks with me all these years)