The last few weeks I was quite busy making a scrapbook photo album for Chit Hui. Actually it took only a week. Thus the rush and panic was felt everyday after work, and even during the day. Somehow I managed to leave work at 6 pm everyday, arrived home at 7:15, showered and slept by 10 pm. By that time, I was too anxious that I decided it was better to sleep early and wake up early to do the work. So I woke up around 3 am, worked until 7:15 am, then got ready to go to work. Praise God I did not feel tired at all doing that for a few days straight. OB and my sister chipped in, too. Their help was the one reason that make the book a reality. I hope Chit Hui loves it and the album will serve as a memory reminder for the long term :)

Last Saturday, Nov 21st, was when I bid her goodbye. I felt a little sad, partly because she was the peacemaker at home, the glue, or whatever. In times when I was upset to my sister, she usually stayed calm and accompanied my sister until I recovered from my bad mood. Things just looks gloomy for me in the future. There will be difficult times..
Reading Chit Hui's emails in the last few weeks prior to leaving also makes me ponder about going home. When will I go home? Waiting to start school itself is a loong time. 2 years. TWO years. The school itself will take at least 3 years. If I go home right afterwards, that would be 2014. Hopefully I'll be a better person and better equipped for a new venture by then.


On the same day, OB and JT got baptized. Everyone in Arang went to Willow's service to witness it, including my sister and Chiew Zhi, who happened to be in Chicago to send Chit Hui off. I was so thrilled and filled with joy. I am so happy for JT that she finds Jesus in her heart and wants to follow Him. So happy for OB who renews his faith in Jesus.
Afterwards, we celebrated with a dinner at Siung's house. Siung and Sinta made rawon. Johnson made ayam goreng kuning. While Jeny made es teler. Everything was delicious.
I am just so happy for OB and JT. So thankful to God for them, too. Two very special friends. May God use them for His purposes.

Where can I go from here?

Do you ever thought, "Ugh, if God was there (in that situation / event) in the past, things would not have turned the way it was! It would have had a good outcome." And now you are going through the pain from the consequences of your action, somebody else's actions, and the wrong decisions. You know now that you should have consulted God in the past, or listened to Him, but it's too late now and you just have to fight this storm alone.

Or, say you have consulted God in the past, but either you did not get any answer (yet), or you did not like the answer you got. "Why did God give me this? Why do I have to go through this problem?" Life issues, big or small, are a pain. And we usually ask God's help to avoid it or to fix it soon.

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There was a similar experience with Mary and Martha, as told in John 11:1-44. The life issue here is: Mary and Martha's brother, Lazarus, was sick (and died). The outline of the story is like the following. As you read through, put yourself in Mary's and Martha's position.

1. Mary sent the news about the problem to Jesus
2. Jesus heard the problem. He knows God's plan, and decided to wait in responding and making actions.
3. Jesus finally came to meet Mary and Martha
4. Martha was sad by then, wishing Jesus would have been there earlier. She thought it's too late then.
5. Jesus assured her about His power, and asked if she believed
6. Martha accepted and believed His word
7. Jesus asked Martha (and some people on site) to do some actions
8. Martha was confused and unsure
9. Jesus reaffirmed His promise
10. The people did what Jesus asked them to do, and Jesus made a miracle

Seems pretty common. I experience that sometimes. I hoped for something, got no answer, and.. that's when I started to branch out, not following the pattern of "going back to Him" + "trusting His plan" + "see the good result".

• Can you identify yourself in the story?
• Can you think of an experience like this in the past? or one that you are going through now?
• At which point did you find it the most difficult? or at which point are you now?

Now let's go through the storyline again, this time with the verses that tells what actually happened.

1.
³So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick."

2.
⁴When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." ⁵Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. ⁶Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.

3.
¹⁴So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, ¹⁵and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him."

4.
²¹"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died.

5.
²⁵Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; ²⁶and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

6.
²⁷"Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."

7.
³⁸Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. ³⁹"Take away the stone," he said.

8.
"But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."

9.
⁴⁰Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

10.
⁴¹So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. ⁴²I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."
⁴³When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" ⁴⁴The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

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Things work out best in God's timing, in God's way.

If you are at point 4, you think it's too late to fix something, too late to make a change --> go back to Jesus and invite Him to be involved.

If you are at point 5, doubting God's power and plan --> read verse 25-26. God's promise does not fail. He has a plan for you (and your situation!) and will carry it through, regardless of however far you have turned.

If you are at point 8, saying no or delaying to do some things that God has been asking you to.. make more effort to complete the task. A change, or even a solution might just be around the corner.

God bless you.