I'm sitting here, on the corner of my bed, right next to the window. As I'm feeling down, I opened the blind, hoping to catch some stars. The sky is dark though. It's been raining for about an hour now. As if the sky cried on my behalf.
I watch the rain fall on ground, sparkling, maybe as sparkling as these new earrings I now have on my ears. I just got ear-pierced today :p. Not that I'm super happy with it. Though I actually am, but.. I am so sad too. So sad.
It's always during these times that I miss Nan the most. I wish you were here. I wish you took a masters program here :). I wish. I wish. Though.. I know I can just sms you, right? And you'd reply it in an instant. I wish I have an hour a day phone call. Something that I took for granted before but now I.. feel like a loss. I always miss my mom, too. Mom, come here.
And I start questioning myself. What would it be like, if I have Jesus here, you know. Well, I kinda have Jesus, but it's hard to feel Him. It's hard to talk one way and not hearing anything. Or maybe I'm closing my ears.
Many times, MANY times, I wish I'd lived by myself. At least I won't feel ignored, on my face. I guess I've always been on myself. Though I was hoping things might change a bit with some new people.. no, no way, things never work out. Aah.. what a life.
Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe I'm sweating little stuffs.
I had my ear pierced today. Yay! After all these times of wanting to but not daring to, I finally showed up and told the lady, "I want my ears pierced." I was so afraid (honestly) that after the lady finished piercing my ears, and began to explain the "after-care procedures".. I started to faint and really, got fainted. I was conscious, but certainly felt dizzy. Good thing I brought a bar of chocolate, and the lady passed me a glass of water. I guess I was too worried about feeling pain, get infected, or.. I don't know.
The lady said I had to be very careful in cleaning my ears in the next 2 weeks. Then I should still clean it with certain solution for the next 6-8 weeks. Then.. I can start changing earrings, but not take them off for a long period, for at least the next one year. It's a long time yah?
I feel much better now. And the rain has stopped falling, though I can still hear some thunders. I'm gonna go for a shower. Will have to clean my ears though, and I'm afraid :p uuh.. hopefully I don't hurt myself. After that.. maybe work a little bit, and bid you good night..
