I shouldn't

Shouldn't think about this.. shouldn't revisit this anymore :S
I've spent 1500 hours.. to calm down.. telling myself not to complain, but to unconditionally accept (well what can I do..), convincing myself that he doesn't care, indeed!
Ok, whatever.
So I.. thought I have let go. I didn't hear. I didn't see. I didn't imagine. Ok I still imagined - unfortunately - but only a little bit :p.. I need it.
Until today.

So what? You're trying to tell me that you can have all the fun in the world but never a thought of sharing it with me? I can't live with these virtual friendships, somemore from you.. someone I consider a close friend. I can't live with the notion of "tagger" following me all along. Please don't keep saying, "Please understand." -_-
I let go one. Another one. Another one. Another one. ...
"I just can't handle another disappointment." - quoted from Nick Nite show I'm currently watching :p.

I don't see how..
Make me remember that time back in high school. I was very excited about going for a trip for a farewell with my best friends. Truly I wouldn't have gone if you guys didn't keep urging me. I felt good. But still!! My bestest friend wouldn't go! (yah itu kamu Nan :p) I could tell.. even back then.. that things would have been much joyful with him around.

*sigh*
I think it's rude.. to tell me that I'm trying to tag along with you. You're not no one to me, you're my dear friend. How could you do this to me :'(
I only treasure very few special people in my life. I put my best effort to be inclusive -- holding each as tightly as I can. I thought people are grateful for the good friends they have. At least I am. Yet you dump and leave me out... Maybe I'm such a bad friend.
If, even you turn your back from me.. who else won't?