Pulang, atau pergi ke Amrik?

Sejak lulus sekolah dan kerja, kalo pulang Indo untuk liburan kadang kita sebut "pigi Indo" dan baliknya "balik ke Amrik." Padahal dipikir-pikir, apa memang Amrik is my home and Indo is a place of vacation?
Terakhir 2.5 minggu di Indo lumayan seru juga. Ga semuanya happy moments, there were definitely some "am not going back home for this" moments. And among those, there were insightful moments.
Sebelumnya ga pernah kepikir, kenapa ga nyoba kerja di Indo and kalo memang ga kerasan / ga cocok, balik US lagi? well, dapet kerja susah sih ya kalo uda keluar Amrik. Ini saja kesempatan yang *pas* ada karena aku pingin ambil grad school taun depan. Try it, yes or no, I'm coming back anyway. Of course reality ga segampang itu lah.

Sempat aku terpikir juga.. kenapa ya jalanku itu.. kuliahnya di Amrik. What do I gain? What do I lose?
I can actually find several things I gain: independence, growing up (I probably won't if I stay back home :p), a chance to experience new places and new culture, being a little more open-minded..
Now, what do I lose, really? Sometimes I get too emotional (and not rational :D) and count my losses. I might have lost one of my best buddies. (Not that I realize it until recently.. But friends go their own ways after all, so never mind with that.) And for some unreasonable reason (huh?), I consider my losses weigh more than my gains.

But one thing pops up in my mind. God.. finds me, here in the US. Would it not be for going to school here, I wouldn't have known Him, and knowing what it means to be close with Him. And this, I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.
Philippians 3:8: "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. ..."

Don't think I can say anymore it's painful to have left home all these years, as I gain the most wonderful gifts of all: knowing Jesus and His unconditional love for me. It is what's going to equip and accompany me for years to come and eternally :)

~~~

As my dad drove my sister and I to the airport a few days ago, he sighed, "Oh the house is going to be quiet again." Oh.. yes, daddy, I know. I know. And I'm sorry to have to leave you again. But don't be too sad. I'll come home to see you again.